(An old essay, undated)
It is a natural tendency of young people to
want to assert their freedom vis a vis their elders. But I think that it’s a
much more basic truth that the tension between freedom and responsibility,
guidance and independence is something we live with all throughout our lives.
The only difference is that when we were younger we articulated this tensions
rather violently, questioning authority, always asking “Why?” As we get older,
we live out these questions, perpetually facing situations (in relationships,
in work) where we have to ask “Why should I do what is right when I derive so
much satisfaction from doing what is wrong?” We find ourselves failing to
disclose information to our bosses, figuring that the less they know, the freer
we are to do as we please. As we grow up, we resent bosses who are perpetually
“in our face”.
I think the same is true of our spiritual
lives. How often has it been said that we are merely Sunday Catholics who go to
mass probably to avoid the burden of guilt or out of tradition and habit? And
isn’t it the normal occurrence that we frequent our God only when we need help?
We ask for “divine intervention” or seek guidance over a decision” and more
often then not, we leave God alone, or more accurately, we tell God “Thanks for
being around, but I think we can do it on our own. We’ll tell you if we need
your help”.
What the Son asked for in the story of theProdigal Son was much more than his material inheritance but also his freedom.
Like a rebellious teen-ager, the Prodigal Son asked for the wealth and
independence that was to be eventually his and wandered far away from his
Father’s guidance. What the Prodigal Son squandered was much more than his
material wealth but also the freedom to choose what to do with his life, away
from anyone telling him what he ought to do, counseling him on what is right
and what is wrong.
But the Son quickly learned that this was
the wrong way to live. He realized that, acting alone, he had squandered his
freedom and found himself bankrupt, bankrupt materially and bankrupt of any
form of meaningful existence. He therefore resolved to go back to his Father,
willing to become a slave. The Father rejoiced upon seeing him return, happy to
see him and probably happy that the son had come to the right mature decision
on his own. Instead of making the Son a slave, the Father gave to the Son
wealth and restored to him the freedom he had squandered.
It isn’t clear from the Gospels why the Son
returned. Was it because he was truly sorry for what he had done to His Father,
the insult of asking for his inheritance while his father was still alive? Or
was it because he ran out of money and therefore he had to find the means to
sustain his existence? Something tells me it was the latter reason. The
Prodigal Son is so much like us, running to Papa only when we are in trouble.
The nice thing about our God is that, like a fool, he always obliges us, at
least with his presence.
There’s also nothing in the Gospels about
what happened to the Prodigal Son after the feast. He probably conducted
mini-experiments with his newly resurrected freedom.
All throughout our lives we feel this
tension, this need to “strike it out on our own”. We learn to resent authority
and publicly (or behind everyone’s backs) question all the rules. This maybe
valid to some extent when we are guided by human (and therefore imperfect)
authority. Sometimes, the responsible thing to do is to responsibly question
authority and institutions to learn the meaning behind these authorities and
institutions or to improve them (or to get rid of them if that’s necessary)
But what I think the story of the Prodigal
Son teaches us is that it never pays to stray too far from our God. Like the
Prodigal Son, if we squander our freedom we will eventually reach the point
where our existence will seem meaningless. Our freedom is only relevant when we
exercise it within the guidance of the Almighty.
---
What does it mean then not to stray too far
from God? I don’t think it is necessarily to follow the Hierarchical Church
blindly. There are certain moral rules with roots in the Church that have
become universally accepted as Universal values. But we must remember that the
Church itself is an institution, thus an imperfect representation of the Will
of Christ. Like all institutions, it must constantly be improved.
I think staying close to God means prayer
and an active sacramental life. These actions are manifestations of our desire
to stay close to God. In the end, I think all the Father needs is for us to
continually express the desire to be close to Him. A famous prayer articulates
well this desire:
Day
by Day, oh Dear Lord
Three
things I pray,
To
see thee more clearly,
To
love thee more dearly,
To
follow thee more nearly,
Day
by Day
When we express that desire persistently,
we learn slowly that God will not allow us to stray too far from him.
No comments:
Post a Comment